Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
