idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
