It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
