1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
My feet surprised me
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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