Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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