you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
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