I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
