fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
