The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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