eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize