How'd it feel making her break her religion?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
