I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize