I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
