I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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