Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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