I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
