Duck Duck Cougar?
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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