Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
