Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Also, beer. Big fan.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
