just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
