I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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