Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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