it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
God, I missed his penis.
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