A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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