I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
