Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize