He is such a slut. More and more my type.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
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