Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
