I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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