Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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