My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
