Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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