I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
