I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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