I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
