all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
