A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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