great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
