good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
