The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Randomize