I'm sorry my penis didn't work
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
smell my finger.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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