I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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