I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
