One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
