I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
