i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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