LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Holy shit dude........stairs
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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