what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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