I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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