So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
