I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
