I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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