Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
