I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
