Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
