So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
My ATM looks so different sober.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
We have started to decorate penises.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize