We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize