I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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