I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
