I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
