I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize