I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
