Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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