i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Randomize
