I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Randomize
