And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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