We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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