Sry I called you an 8
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
